♥ Monday, September 24, 2007
hi world,
okay.
tried to study but to no avail.
which, sucks big time.
& i do still tink about him,
which rocks.
ahaha, omfgawd.
ahmon,
okay i admit.
i am crazy over him.
am still. so what?
i do have a lingering feeling & its starting to bother me alot.
which isnt a good idea from the start.
a perceptive deemed by perceptions.
& i gotta do whats best for me.
it seems so distant to me now,
which i believe throughly,
i have lost my sense of direction in.
in an empirical way,
its back to square one.
& its sucks.
Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete.
it is not fundamentally a sweet feeling,
not, at heart, a matter of sentiment, attachment, or being "drawn toward."
Love is active, effective, a matter of making reciprocal
and mutually beneficial relation with one's friends and enemies.
which is both confusing & amazing, dont you think?
thru bereavement, its makes you feel the pain & sorrow.
all over agn. damned.
&it's really hard to say the exact truth,
even about your own immediate feelings,
truly much harder than to say something fine,
about somethg else which is not the exact truth.
okay, enough of all these.
i met wife & daddy * today,
which made me had mixed emotions.
i was , happy, exhilarated, confused, and presumably grieved.
all but pure delight.
which was, in a sense, weird.
Lying is done with words and also with silence.
i think im a perfectionist, which in way always caused my downfall.
& i always wanted a perfect ending.
now i believe i've learned, the hard way,
that some poems don't rhyme,
and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end.
delicious ambiguity eh?
gotta go my own way?
Fulin's Nana @ 12:12 AM
