♥ Sunday, September 30, 2007
sorry for all the hurt i've cause,
im the reason for your pain.
today was an horrendous day(at times),
you seemed so..
not anxious,
like, it doesnt matter anymore,
really,
like, you dont even want me to stay anymore.
you know,
if you really want me to stay,
its not possible to wait a few days.
once the moment is gone,
its gone forever.
to me, it seems like im not needed.
& your words & actions dont tally.
let's do a break up, shall we?
im wanting to go,
& you're not holding me back.
i kept tear-ing,
even on the way there.
every single thg reminds me of you.
but it seems like, im not as impt as you say i am.
maybe even as you tot i am.
make me stay,
make me feel how much you need me wont you?
im like so insignificant.do i even matter?
went vivo for movie
with darl, jon & hong.
watch death at a funeral.
a totally wtf show.
today's a wtf day.
seriously,
before that we went to banquet to eat,
i swear ah, that was my worse dining experience.
oh my bloody god.
ch scare me with a blastic plastic bag.
which cause a crazy bitch to scream LOUDLY,
approximately, 3 secs after the bang.
wtf right?
it was freaking loud.
den we were like laughing and laughing.
i swear.
den before heading in to the movies,
me & darl saw this
"gong"
is damn cute know?
imagine, pink with moos moos.
darn !
so we just had to get that,
which caused an uproar with the two fucking guys.
bah, in the end.
me & darl won.
& after the movies.
we saw this guy, lying under the bench,
first tot was, " is this guy a pyscho, like in the movie?"
ahhh, then we realise,
that guy was drunk.
very very drunk, even more drunk then ch on st james day.
& he was lying in his own vomit.
wtf.
we were so sure that he WAS with his frens,
den his frens ps him.
& singaporeans ah.
NOBODY went there to help him or anythg ok,
some just stared, some just sit there, some just walked away.
in the end, hong & jon decided to go "help" him.
so off they went.
they looked like "um pai", walking over to him.
i swear, we could smell the vomit from farrrrrrr away.
den they came back,
& jon, lol.
he just kept wanting to vomit.
the smell was stinky, horrendously stinky.
so went the conversation between them & the drunk.
THEM: eh bro, you okay?
DRUNK: ya, im fine.
THEM: eh where you stay?
DRUNK: teban garden
THEM: orh okay. take care ah.
then ch told us,
" eh wen i ask where he stay ah, i dont want to ask him to take cab ley."
" i scared he say no money, den we have to give him money ah"
den we walked away.
& we took 80 back home,
somethg happened,
stupid ch & jon spun my head around,
making me feel dizzy.
darl took a video,
so the video shows it all.
walked home afterwards,
unknowingly, tears just dropped agn.
know what hurts the most,
its knowing, i might not be your reason for living anymore,
its, you, not holding me back.
not even trying at all.
you could even say, wait a few days later,
its you letting me walk away.
you said, you couldnt live without me,
wen i asked you, if i were to break up with you,
would you hold me back?
you said yes.
what now, tell me about it.
wen i asked, if you knew thgs are gng to the dumps, will you salvage it?
if you knew i'll leave,will you try & stop me?
if you knew i'll be gone, will you find me?
if you knew i lost the faith in us, will you build in back?
you said yes.
but since noon, you've not made me feel that you needed me.
you've not even msged nor called me.
since noon.
is this your term of holding me back?
wanting me to not leave?
your term of how impt i am to you?
what am i supposed to do with all these blues.
i didnt mean to fall in love with you,
its better never to have met you in my dream,
than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.
i think its true, the hottest love has the coldest end.
the absence of love, is the most abjected pain.
Real loss only occurs when you lose something that you love more than yourself.
thats when i loved you more then me.
its always been self-delusionment when it comes to us.
why did you turn away?
will you wait for me.
do you really need me in your life.
will you love me right.
that's what hurts the most.
Fulin's Nana @ 1:36 AM
