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here are two really sad stories to tell,
A love story that wasnt meant to be,
Hi, im Ashley. I met this guy, when i switched schools. He was really nice, and funny. i talked with him for a while, his name was Darius. He was so nice, and i fell in love when i first met him. He asked me out after a while. I said yes. We went out for 2 months. People started telling me he was cheating on me. I didnt believe them though. I trusted and loved darius way too much to believe other people. Darius thought otherwise i guess, and he broke up with me, i guess he thought i didnt trust him. I was so hurt. Yet, i still loved him. We still talked after that. I
IMed him on aim that weekend, he asked if he could call me, and naturally i said yes. He started explaining why we broke up, and that hurt me. I got annoyed, so i agreed that i believed he was cheating on me, though he told me he still liked me. A few months went by, and we kept talking, and eventually he told me how he felt, how he still liked me. After he told me though, he went out with someone else. I was so heartbroken. Yet i was happy for him. My friends however didnt believe that. They told Darius to show me he didnt like me anymore, now that he was going out with someone else. So thats what he did. His myspace headline was now “Ashley i dont like you i like my g/f, so GET OVER IT!” i remember those words still. A couple of weeks went by, then a month. Soon Darius and his g/f broke up.
I didnt care though, he proved he didnt like me anymore, and even though i still loved him, you cant change how someone feels about you. So i left it alone. However my friends, they didnt. They started telling him off, and yelling at him on aim, telling him never to talk to me again. I guess he got really annoyed because, after that he IMed me, saying he still liked me. Well, i loved him, so i believed him…again. We didnt go out though. We talked on the phone and computer, but he acted like i didnt exists in school. Because of this, i did the same. We kept that up for a while, then in school, i found out he got a new girlfriend. That killed me completely. After that i promised myself, Never Again will i trust him. That didnt work.
He IMed me that night. I was nice to him. I said hi, and acted like nothing was wrong. But that didnt last. After a while, he said to me “You know, i probably shouldn’t be talking to you, my girlfriend might not like that.” So what i did, was i told him that was fine with me, that i wouldn’t talk to him, or say hi to him anymore. After i said that, he tried saying things like, “wait i only said maybe!” or, “I didnt mean it like that, you could still talk to me, dont get so mad.” I didnt listen to him though. I signed off on him. I didnt talk to him at all for the next 2 months. That killed me. Soon enough though, they broke up. He IMed a couple days later, saying he was sorry. I, once again, believed him. This time, it was an “i like you.” He told me he loved me. I was so happy, and i said it back, the only difference between it was……..i meant what i said.
Now this went on for a little while. Then things changed. He started telling me that he didnt like me that much anymore. He said that he wanted to be real good friends. I didnt get it. I told him we cant be friends, when he asked why i told him the truth. I said, “I cant be your friend, do you know how much it hurts already for me to look at you in school, and you not even care. I cant be your friend because that would hurt even more, knowing you will never love me, like i love you.” I signed off on him after that. We didnt talk for a long time, then he IMed me one day, and i dont know why but he said that he cant stop thinking about me. I was so stupid to believe him. We started talking again. We talked about everything. Then it happen again. The i dont love you anymore. After that one i said to myself, “I refuse to love him anymore!” Yet i couldn’t do it. Anytime i tried to forget about him, i cried. I begged god to make the pain go away.
I cried when there was nothing to cry about. I cried at night. It was the worse pain possible. I pleaded for god to make it stop. I wanted it to end thats all i wanted, i would do anything for it to stop. But it didnt stop, it just grew, and i thought to myself, “Why is god doing this to me? Does he hate me that much, to torture me with love?” Thats when he called me. It hurt to hear his voice, but i listened to him talk. I listened to him tell me that he loved me, and joke around with me about it. I knew he was joking when he said it. I could tell. So i listened. I listened to him talk, and then, i broke. Tears started, i couldn’t see, it was so blurry. But i didn’t let him know i was crying. I tried holding it back. I managed to tell him i had to go. I hung up, and i cried. I just lay there, asking god why he hates me so much. I went to school the next day, i saw him. Yet he acted as if i wasn’t there. Like i didnt exsist. I could tell he didnt want me around.
So i gave him what he wanted. I didnt talk to him anymore. Now, i still see him around. He calls me, and talks to me on aim, he’ll never know how much it hurts me though. How much it hurts me to talk to him. To see him. But, thats okay with me. All’s i want is for him to be happy. Thats all i want to see. Yet before i die, i do want him to know, that I Love Him, I Love Him with all my heart, and that i would die, just to make him happy. I want him to know that i do trust him. Thats all i want before i die. I’m Ashley, im 14 years old, and i just want the pain to stop.
Lost the man of my dreams,
I met this guy named Nick in a chartroom. and unlike most conversations with people from chartrooms we actually talked and learned a lot about each other and talked everyday for hours online. and then came to find out that we lived in the same town went to the same high school for 2 years yet we didn’t know each other until now. So then we started calling each other and the first time as always was awkward but we started getting more comfortable and called each other every night and honestly talked about anything possible for a minimum of an hour, one night we even talked from 10pm to 5 in the morning it was crazy so now we decided to meet and we hung out and talked at a nearby park and played basketball and i was so attracted to his personality he was just so perfect but i couldn’t come to tell him that i liked him because im a shy girl.
but online one day i was just so upset with myself that i eventually got the courage to tell him and he told me he liked me to thank god. and so we started talking on the phone everyday as always and i would e-mail him everyday before school and he’d write back and then id write him back when i got back from school and we were just so perfect for each other and never argued we were really laid back about everything and i truly fell for him and even though we never told each other that i knew and could see in his eyes that he loved me to but we’re both shy people so we never actually exchanged those words.
although everything was going great he did have a best friend that i didn’t mind but c’mon if every time u were to hang out with someone you loved would you really want his friend to always be there…..his friend was always with him and at times it would piss me off but i never said anything. So one day online his friend im’s me and starts saying all these rude things to me and from just being so mad about it i said things back to defend myself and after this argument i knew that everything i said i never meant and im not one to argue but piss me off and i will say things you never imagined id ever say to anyone. and so he misinterpreted everything i was saying and decided he’d tell nick all about it.
and Nick of course believed his best friend even though everything this best friend was telling him was nothing i ever said. and so for the first time we were arguing about something that his best friend started and i came to realize that if he wants to believe his friend then he can but i was just upset because he wasn’t listening to a single word i had to say and he wanted me to call him the next day and we’d talk about it all and i did and as soon as i said hi the response from the other end of the phone was “hello stranger” he thought i was a totally different.
person that he thought at first and i wasn’t but when someone says things to you you have to defend yourself and that conversation i never got to say anything because nick and his friend were to busy saying pointless things to me and i apparently wasn’t told to call to talk and so i hung up cuz i was sick of it all. and from that day on things haven’t been the same and we dont talk to each other anymore, even though we r friends on facebook. And he is now in the army, and i lay in my bed every night crying because i lost the man of my dreams and he’s probably not even thinking of me and i dont understand why i still love him and after a year of not talking to him i still cry over him everyday and it kills me inside to know that we probably wont ever talk to see each other again.
Ive been wanting to write him an e-mail about everything and how i still love him to death but what if he doesn’t feel the same and doesn’t care? i dont know what to do, any advice will be greatly appreciated. i just feel like i did everything for him just to make him happy and show him how much i cared and i did it all for nothing now, i never got anything in return and i think he’s scared of a commitment and maybe he’s just not ready i dont know but i dont want to lose him but i want to know if he feels the same way about me as i do about him.
-------------------------------------------christmas, doesnt really feels like christmas this year.
mayb because,
anywhat, i still rember what youuu said to me,
& you.
sigh.
i have presents & baked cuppies for both you & youuu.
i do feel..
& its quite killing me,
but two?
im always left half way hanging.
you are both so alike.
adopting the same measures,
avoiding is what you do best.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
( tho im not feeling very merry myself. )
& pictures sooon.
