Because all i want, is to be happy ♥.

♥ Monday, May 26, 2008

I think im tear-ing now.
i dont know why, but.
fucking fuck, all thanks to me myself.
what a loser.
Melanie the gross loser,

Hi world, im officially known as the loser.
Bye world, because i am the loser.

woke up this morning,
and gey kiang,
went to read stuffs i shouldnt have,
saw stuff i shouldnt have.
i thought it was funnn/nice to know at first.
fun/nice to know my ass.

now i feel like shiat.
and i've not told fulin bout it yet.
if i say, he's gonna ask why.
den what do i say?

igkwtryeb?
ahhhh, fuck it.
so many things,
i realise.
i'll refuse to "be the same"
now i dont even make sense anymore.

this is a disease.
a compulsive disorder that me , gheeting & joei CANNOT stop.
knowing it'll make us die.
all the time.
ps: please meet me sooon ):

ystd fulin asked so far one week alr, how?
i told him, " tfl has been really nice to me, i am very very happy when i with him. he cannnot cannnot cannoot must not, never ever leave me or treat me like his ex. "

anyway just read thru our msn past convos,
reaaally wanna laugh at some.

and last night, he said me over the fone," baobei im afraid one day i make you angry den i dont know what to do. "( somethg along that line la huh, cant rember)
and he said, " i dont want to lose you "
i went quiet, and thot to myself, prolly this is it aint it.

i remember fulin use to say,
you're the only one whom i took so much effort for you to notice me.
you're also the only one i took so long.

den why i still likethat?!
yesyes complusive disorder.

shudnt call fulin baby anymore,
but i like calling him that.
okay how bout ling,
ah hah, fuckass.

how i wish i never knew of that shiatass thing.
what if one day,
it ends up likethat.

i dont even feeling like eating my rice now.

okay, i just receive a text from baby,
it says " DARLING!! wake up alr? ahhhh. so cute my baobei.. :) :) "
so for now lets just pretend nthg has happen and die later on when he reads my blog.

kthxbye.

Fulin's Nana @ 1:27 PM